Start with the Heart: Building Compassionate Connections From Day One

Central woman comforting another woman, while a man watches.

As the fall semester approaches, faculty are presented with new courses, students, and ever-evolving challenges. Beyond the myriad of pedagogical responsibilities lies an equally critical yet often underemphasized dimension: the emotional and relational aspects of teaching. Effective teaching transcends mere information transmission; it is built on relational experiences and a nurturing, supportive, and compassionate environment that fosters student engagement, learning, and well-being. Building compassionate connections with students with us starts on day one.

Understanding Compassion

Compassion, as defined by Gilbert (2009), involves an attunement to the suffering of self and others with a commitment to alleviate and prevent it. Neff’s (2003) seminal research expands this definition by including the multidimensional construct of self-compassion, which involves treating oneself with the same kindness and understanding during times of failure or distress as one would treat a close friend or loved one. Neff’s recent work (2023) further elaborates on self-compassion by outlining three elements: self-kindness versus self-judgment, common humanity versus isolation, and mindfulness versus overidentification. Mindfulness involves being aware of the present moment and experience, our moment of suffering, painful thoughts, or feelings, but in a clear and balanced manner so that we neither ignore nor exaggerate our suffering. Self-kindness involves being warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or getting stuck in the cycle of self-criticism. Common humanity recognizes that suffering, stress, challenges, and personal inadequacy are part of the shared experience of being human and something we all go through as people navigating the world.

Compassion in the educational context implies a deep awareness of students’ emotional and academic struggles and a proactive effort to support and uplift them. In an academic setting, self-compassion can be a powerful tool for faculty and educators, helping to manage the stresses and challenges inherent in the educational process. Incorporating self-compassion into the academic setting can transform how students and educators approach challenges, enhancing emotional resilience, reducing stress, and fostering a more positive and supportive learning environment.

Starting With the Heart

As a teaching professor, starting with the heart means committing to teaching practices that are compassionate, empathic, inclusive, and relational, ultimately preparing students for success in their academic, social, and emotional lives. Listening to students’ concerns, celebrating their accomplishments, and supporting them through day-to-day challenges creates an environment where trust and resilience can flourish and contribute to the holistic development of students. Starting with the heart begins with embodying compassion in ourselves as faculty, integrating compassion into our physical presence, communication, actions, and interactions. It goes beyond an abstract feeling or intention, manifesting as a tangible, lived experience that influences how we engage with ourselves and others. Compassion is integrated into every educational interaction, creating a nurturing and supportive learning environment; this bidirectional compassion fosters a sense of belonging and trust, which is crucial for effective learning.

The following strategies can help focus attention on the heart of teaching from day one.

  • Model and Embody Compassion
    • Demonstrate Compassion: Show warmth, smile often, and express genuine interest in your student’s well-being.
    • Building Support: Modeling and embodying compassion in the classroom goes beyond merely feeling empathy for students; it involves actively showcasing this compassion through consistent, tangible actions and interactions that students can observe and experience. The felt experience of compassion creates a supportive and nurturing environment where students feel valued and understood. It encourages a sense of community and trust, which is essential for effective learning. 
  • Radiate Warmth and Kindness
    • Non-Verbal Communication: Body language, facial expressions, and voice prosody can convey warmth, compassion, and kindness. Smiling often, making eye contact, and maintaining an open and relaxed posture can help students feel more comfortable and valued.
    • Verbal Communication: Compassionate communication is a cornerstone of creating a positive and inclusive classroom environment. Simple phrases like “I’m glad you’re here” or “I can see this topic is connecting with you today” boost confidence and a sense of belonging.
  • Express Genuine Interest in Students’ Well-Being
    • Personal Connections: Learn about your students’ interests, hobbies, and aspirations. Asking about their weekend plans, congratulating them on achievements outside of class, or remembering details about their lives shows that you care about them as individuals.
    • Warm Check-Ins: Regularly check in with students about their well-being. This could be as simple as sending regular emails, asking how their day is going. Or more structured inquiry, like setting aside time for one-on-one meetings to discuss their progress and any challenges they face. 
  • Be Present and Attentive:
    • Compassionate Listening: When students speak to you, give them your full attention. Listen without interrupting, show that you understand by nodding or using affirming words, and ask follow-up questions to show genuine interest and care.
    • Mindfulness: Practice mindful awareness to stay fully present during interactions with students. This means setting aside your worries, distractions, and thoughts and attuning to the needs of students in the present moment, not attempting to change or fix anything by just being present in the exchange.
  • Respond with Empathy and Understanding:
    • Validate Feelings: When students express concerns or frustrations, acknowledge their feelings. Phrases like “That sounds like you are dealing with a lot right now” or “I can see why you feel that way” can help students feel understood and supported.
    • Offer Support: Instead of immediately offering solutions, sometimes it’s more helpful to provide a listening ear and emotional support. Let students know that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and that you’re there to help them navigate through it, and you will point them in the right direction if you don’t have the answer.
  • Create a Safe and Inclusive Environment
    • Set Clear Expectations: Establish a classroom culture emphasizing collaboration, respect, and kindness. Make it clear from day one that everyone is expected to treat each other with compassion, empathy, and respect.
    • Foster Inclusivity: Ensure that all students feel welcome and valued. This might involve addressing and mitigating any instances of exclusion or discrimination and promoting diverse perspectives, voices, and experiences within the classroom.
  • Celebrate Achievements and Efforts
    • Recognize Effort: Acknowledge and celebrate not just successes but also the effort and progress students make, building their resilience, motivation, and growth mindset.
    • Public Praise and Private Encouragement: While public praise can boost a student’s confidence, private words of encouragement can also be deeply meaningful. Balance both to reinforce positive behaviors and achievements.
  • Be Consistent and Reliable
    • Follow Through: Keep your promises and follow through on commitments. If you tell a student you’ll look into something for them, do it. This builds trust and reliability.
    • Predictability: Create a classroom routine that helps students know what to expect. This can reduce anxiety and help them feel more secure.
  • Model Self-Compassion
    • Be Transparent: Share your experiences with challenges and how you practice self-compassion, normalizing your struggles. Demonstrate to students the importance of being kind to themselves.
    • Self-Care Practices: Demonstrate the importance of self-care through experiential compassion practices and stress management, and demonstrate that you prioritize your well-being, encouraging students to do the same.
    • Self-Compassion Breaks: Encourage taking short breaks during class or work sessions to practice self-compassion. This can involve acknowledging any stress or frustration by offering oneself words of kindness and understanding and realizing other people might be feeling their way as part of the human experience.

      Build Compassionate Connections From Day One

      Classrooms that cultivate compassion from day one create an inclusive, safe, and responsive atmosphere to students’ diverse needs and lived experiences. Invest time in getting to know your students as individuals from the beginning. Learn about their interests, strengths, challenges, and hopes for the future. Strong relationships are built by genuine care and compassion, and the felt experience of being seen, heard, and affirmed begins on day one.


      Mindith R. Rahmat, PsyD, is a core faculty member at Antioch University, where she specializes in compassion-focused pedagogy, trauma-sensitive mindfulness, and mindful self-compassion. With over 25 years of experience teaching yoga, meditation, and holistic wellness practices, she integrates these methodologies into her classroom, fostering equitable, intentional learning environments that promote well-being, resilience, and flourishing.

      References

      Gilbert, P. (2009). The compassionate mind: A new approach to life’s challenges. New Harbinger Publications.

      Neff, K. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85-101.

      Neff, K. (2023). Self-compassion: Theory, method, research, and intervention. Annual Review of Psychology, 74, 193-218.

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